Why Molestar Is the Polite Verb for "To Bother"
Molestar means to bother, disturb or annoy. It is regular, and it is the verb behind many polite everyday phrases: asking if someone minds, apologizing for an interruption, and telling a host not to go to any trouble.
It works like gustar in me molesta: the thing that bothers you is the subject. For more on that pattern, see [Gustar] Chunks. Learn the six chunks below and you can handle most polite situations.
Pattern 1: ¿Te molesta si…? — "Do you mind if…?"
The polite way to ask permission. Use si plus a normal verb, or que plus the subjunctive. Use ¿le molesta…? with someone you address formally. For other ways to ask, see [Pedir] Chunks.
- ¿Te molesta si abro la ventana? — Do you mind if I open the window?
- ¿Le molesta si me siento aquí? — Do you mind if I sit here? (formal)
- ¿Te molesta que ponga música? — Do you mind if I put on some music?
Chunk to learn:
¿Te molesta si + [verbo]? / ¿Te molesta que + [subjuntivo]?
Pattern 2: Me molesta que… — "It bothers me that…"
Use me molesta plus a noun for what bothers you, or que plus the subjunctive for what someone does. For more on the subjunctive, see Subjunctive Chunks.
- Me molesta el ruido. — The noise bothers me.
- Me molesta que llegues tarde. — It bothers me that you arrive late.
- Le molesta que nadie avise. — It annoys him that nobody lets him know.
Chunk to learn:
Me molesta + [algo] / Me molesta que + [subjuntivo]
Pattern 3: Perdona que te moleste — "Sorry to bother you"
The classic way to start when you interrupt someone. The subjunctive que te moleste sounds natural and polite, and siento molestarte is the shorter version.
- Perdona que te moleste, ¿tienes un minuto? — Sorry to bother you, do you have a minute?
- Siento molestarte tan tarde. — I'm sorry to bother you so late.
- No quiero molestar, pero necesito ayuda. — I don't want to bother you, but I need help.
Chunk to learn:
Perdona que te moleste / Siento molestarte / No quiero molestar
Pattern 4: No te molestes — "Don't go to any trouble"
Said by a guest or a friend to stop you from fussing. With usted it becomes no se moleste. It is a polite refusal, not an annoyed one.
- No te molestes, yo pago. — Don't go to any trouble, I'll pay.
- No se moleste, ya me voy. — Don't trouble yourself, I'm leaving now.
- No te molestes en traer nada. — Don't bother bringing anything.
Chunk to learn:
No te molestes / No se moleste
Pattern 5: Molestarse con / por… — "To get upset with / about…"
With se, the person is the one who gets annoyed or offended. Use con for the person and por for the reason. It is milder than getting really angry; for feelings in general, see [Sentir] Chunks.
- Se molestó conmigo por lo que dije. — She got upset with me over what I said.
- No te molestes por eso. — Don't take offense at that.
- Me molesté mucho cuando me lo contó. — I got really annoyed when he told me.
Chunk to learn:
Molestarse con + [persona] / Molestarse por + [algo]
Pattern 6: Molestarse en… — "To bother to…"
Use en plus an infinitive for making the effort, and almost always in the negative: ni se molestó en… means someone did not even try. For more on llamar, see [Llamar] Chunks.
- Ni se molestó en llamar. — He didn't even bother to call.
- No me molesté en contestar. — I didn't bother to answer.
- ¿Para qué te molestas en explicarle? — Why bother explaining to him?
Chunk to learn:
(No) molestarse en + [infinitivo] / Ni se molestó en…
Molestar vs. Enojar
Molestar is mild: something irritates you or gets in your way. Enojar (Latin America) and enfadar (Spain) mean real anger. Me molesta que llegues tarde says it is annoying; me enoja que llegues tarde says you are angry. When in doubt, molestar is the safer, more polite word.
Start with ¿te molesta si…? and perdona que te moleste. You will use both the first day you have to ask a stranger for something.
This post is part of the Spanish Chunk Series — a growing collection of chunk patterns for natural Spanish.